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Baby snatching - Forced Adoption in Secret Courts by the Social Services
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Welcome to our exclusive gang of child snatchers


British Social Worker Rules and Regulations

Please note, if you want to become a BRITISH SOCIAL WORKER, and work in the childrens department you have to obey our rules, which are as follows:

1. Child Snatching
2. Children
3. Babies
4. Mothers
5. Witch-Doctors
6. Fathers
7. Family Courts
8. Power

1. CHILD SNATCHING; If mothers or fathers come to you for help, pretend to sympathise. Then if they have just ONE difficult child, or a husband, wife, or partner with "learning difficulties", an alcohol or drug related problem, or even a 10 year old conviction for violence in a pub, go to one of our friendly courts and get an emergency protection order without telling the parents. This means that you can go in the middle of the night with the police to drag the children out of bed and take ALL the children into care. Remember, the children are always better off with social services than they are with the sort of parents who are naive enough to come to us for advice and assistance. The mothers and fathers we target just do not have our qualifications in sociology. Luckily these idiot parents do not realise that whenever they turn to us for help, more often than not we take all their children away! Sometimes parents even cooperate with us because we tell them that if they agree to the care orders we will return the children after a few weeks... If they are stupid enough to actually believe this they deserve to lose their kids for good and believe me that is exactly what does happen to them!

If you yourself have an unhappy or non-existent family life you are an ideal candidate to become a social worker. When you get used to breaking up other people's families and taking their children you will forget your own troubles and it will make you feel great. Remember however that if you come across a brutal family where a child is covered in bruises or cigarette burns (like Victoria Climbé) and they threaten you if you look too nosey, then clear out in a hurry and leave them alone. Nobody can expect you to risk your own safety just to grab a child who would probably be better off dead anyway. Beware also of visiting homes with children who have scabies or other infections. Never risk picking up a disease yourself, just get as far away as possible and leave the little brats to infect each other while you delete the house from your visiting list.

Top of page - British Social Worker Rules and Regulations: Child Snatching - Children - Babies - Mothers - Witch-Doctors - Fathers - Family Courts - Power

2. CHILDREN; Older children must be put into our special care homes. preferably in North Wales or Islington where as you probably know they were constantly sexually abused by the carers before they were sent out to work as prostitutes and rent boys to earn money for us all. Do not worry about publicity as the former Minister for children MARGARET HODGE has already had practice in Islington in concealing the simple but glorious fact that kids are far more likely to be abused in the clutches of us social workers than if they stayed at home with their own idiot parents !! Two frightened social workers (maybe trying to save their own skins?) naively reported the naughty goings on in Islington to her so of course she furiously reprimanded them, poured scorn on their revelations, forbade them to pursue the matter, and ordered them on no account to let any parents know of their fears. Later however a former inmate blew the whistle on television about the sexual abuse he had suffered so Margaret called him a mentally disturbed person She had to publicly apologise later and paid £10,000 damages when he commenced legal proceedings but the rest of us carried on as usual not in the least upset by a few miserable spoilsports who dared to try and thwart the plans and amusements of the social services. Some of our carers from Islington and North Wales went to prison but believe me if you are discreet there is no risk of that happening to you.!

Luckily the ignorant public just do not realise that children in our tender care living in our "special" childrens homes stand 100 times more chance of being abused by the splendid team of paedophiles and perverts we employ there than if they stayed with their own imbecile parents !! At least we are all professionals !! It costs more than £1800 per week to keep a child in one of our childrens homes. This is more than 3 times the cost of sending kids to Eton or Harrow, but then with us they often get very special treatment !!

Top of page - British Social Worker Rules and Regulations: Child Snatching - Children - Babies - Mothers - Witch-Doctors - Fathers - Family Courts - Power

3. BABIES; If the children are young, or better still new-born babies, remember that the government usually rewards your Council through public service agreements if they manage to take children out of costly fostering situations and increase the adoption figures. Childless couples do not want to adopt children, they nearly all want BABIES so the only way to increase the adoption figures sufficiently to claim the money from the government is to find reasons to take new-born babies from mothers who are not capable of defending themselves against false allegations made by honest upright citizens such as ourselves. We social workers stick together with NO EXCEPTIONS SO FAR! - No wimps with overactive consciences; just a happy band of babysnatchers !! Do not sympathise or show kindness to any of the mothers when you take their new-born babies away. Just tell this pathetic bunch of losers that their revolting offspring are better off with the State and boast with pride about the money you can get for your County Council and hence your social service department if you can successfully get the brats adopted. Some Councils like Kent managed to more than double adoption figures over a 3 year period 2001-2004 and Kent was awarded around £20 million for achieving 10 out of 12 targets set. Target Number One was of course to double adoption figures over the 3 year period and this was very sucessfully achieved.   

There are plenty of professional mothers with important careers who do not want to bother with pregnancy and these ladies often already in their forties or fifties seek our active assistance in legally snatching new-born babies from the mothers we target for them;

UNLIKE ROBIN HOOD WE TAKE BABIES FROM THE POOR AND GIVE THEM IF NOT TO THE RICH AT LEAST TO THE RESPECTABLE MIDDLE CLASSES !! That is what social services is all about !! Over a 4 year period we snatched 440 children simply because their parents had a low income !! (see page 12)

Go out now and collect as many babies as you can. Dig up some irrelevant fault in the mothers past and the court will almost always give you an emergency protection order when a new baby is born. This means you can burst in and snatch the new-born from it's mother's arms. Adoptions are rushed through secretly for new adoptive parents who never show their faces or reveal where they live so these babies never see their wretched mothers again. The joke is that these mothers are then mostly condemned for life to produce babies for us not for themselves!! GOOD RIDDANCE to all social misfits especially mothers who resist our plans; We used to bully unmarried mothers into giving up their babies in their thousands but now that giving birth to little bastards seems to be respectable we have to trawl around to find mothers we can accuse of abuse or neglect even if we have to manufacture the evidence ourselves. It is all part of the job. ENJOY!

Stop Press !! We have just heard about a baby born in an isolated stable full of animals, (most unhygenic !!), and in the depths of winter without any heating or any medical person in attendance. The mother is quite mad, no sorry, she has "learning disabilities" as she is quite convinced that the father is not her husband but God Himself !!! Clearly a case for social services, and the sooner we can remove this baby and get it to a foster home ready for adoption the better it will be for all concerned !!

Top of page - British Social Worker Rules and Regulations: Child Snatching - Children - Babies - Mothers - Witch-Doctors - Fathers - Family Courts - Power

4. MOTHERS; Some mothers will dare to oppose the care orders or worse still refuse to sign adoption papers. Show no mercy to these ungrateful women. Encourage your expert barristers working for Social Services to demolish the character of any parent opposing you. The court will be secret so if parents complain to the press or to the public about any so-called injustice, they will be sent to PRISON for CONTEMPT and serve them right! You can be sure that their legal aid lawyers are special friends of ours and will agree with everything we say. They always instruct the mothers to plead guilty to anything they are accused of. These lawyers are professional losers who practically never win a case against us in the family courts ! Once we get hold of these children we brainwash them into saying unpleasant things about their parents on video, then we gradually reduce all contact with their families so we can finally get the yougest adopted and the others, in permanent fostering, or better still at our mercy in one of our very "desireable" childrens homes. Murderers in H. M. prisons are allowed to phone their families but that is not how we work in the SS !! We nearly always FORBID kids in our tender "care " to make or receive telephone calls, and once we have got legal control of these brats we gradually destroy their so called families by keeping all parental contact to the absolute minimum, then eventually stop it altogether. This way kids soon forget their families and settle into our rather special routine !

Top of page - British Social Worker Rules and Regulations: Child Snatching - Children - Babies - Mothers - Witch-Doctors - Fathers - Family Courts - Power

5. WITCH-DOCTORS Are you sad that witchcraft trials finished 200 years ago?. Never mind, we revived it all again with great success in the Orkneys accusing all sorts of parents of witchcraft and satanic abuse, There was no need for hard evidence (just a couple of kids who had watched too much late night tv) as our word is always good enough in secret family courts. We took away children in the middle of the night from all over the Orkneys, and we only had to release them in the end because of interference from the gutter press. Since then Professor Meadows has proved a wonderful ally and he and his colleagues have given us literally thousands of babies all put out for adoption thanks to his idiot theory that if a baby is ill or dies it is probably the mother harming it deliberately to gain attention for herself. This way she loses any future babies as soon as they are born. Who cares if his ideas are crazy? The judge only has to think mothers are PROBABLY guilty not certainly guilty so the mothers end up utterly crushed and defeated, and we collect all the newborn babies!No real proof is needed in family courts where we social workers and our tame expert friends are always believed no matter what the parents say; It's a doddle!

Top of page - British Social Worker Rules and Regulations: Child Snatching - Children - Babies - Mothers - Witch-Doctors - Fathers - Family Courts - Power

6. FATHERS: Fathers 4 Justice, are most unpleasant men who dare to question us when we stop them having access to their children, These little brats are certainly better off without visits from such unruly men no matter what the courts have ordered about access. Take no notice of their selfish demands, The children are better off with us but even if we can't take them, because their wretched mothers have care of them at least we can frustrate the fathers who are even more unpleasant than the mothers . They deserve eveything they get for trying to upset the order of things that we have arranged for the benefit of the public. How dare they paint our doors purple and throw purple powder all over dear Mr Blair in the Commons just because we let the mothers ignore court orders giving fathers the right to regular contact with their children. Prison is too good for these ungrateful hooligans.

We do of course make an exception for the former Home Secretary, dear Mr Blunkett ( fresh from his divorce ) who, not content with seducing Mrs Quinn has gained access to one of her two children on the grounds that at least one is his rather than her long suffering husband's !! We applaud his attempts to break up this family in accordance with our very finest traditions and agree with the judge who has allowed maximum publicity for the children as their interests are always paramount (Yes really !), and it must be to their benefit to be publicly asociated with such a fine upstanding family man !!

Top of page - British Social Worker Rules and Regulations: Child Snatching - Children - Babies - Mothers - Witch-Doctors - Fathers - Family Courts - Power

7. FAMILY COURTS; Let me remind you once again, that our job is NOT to keep families together, but to SPLIT THEM UP as often and as completely as we can. To date I can report record numbers of shattered families and plenty more in the pipeline. Remember that the end justifies the means. You might think that parents who are desperate enough to go to court to recover their children would convince the judge of their love and sincerity and should usually win. Not on your life!We fight these impertinent purveyors of sentimental claptrap tooth and nail. We nearly always win because purely in the public interest we are very economical with the truth in court and we brainwash the children with constant repetition to say whatever we want on video. (Even easier for us to do this to frightened children than for the Iraquis to tame tough US marines so successfully that they repeated everything they were told to say on television. )

Only idiots worry about a little harmless perjury. Christine Purcell a social worker down in Portsmouth was one idiot who was stupid enough to plead guilty to perjury instead of bluffing it out like the rest of us. This was a ridiculous thing to do as we still won the case against a mother who was almost blind and a father who dared to be "hostile". We successfully took their 2 little girls away and put them out for adoption!!

Or get the whole story from our victim Mr Maynard We certainly crushed his pathetic protests !

Once in a while the criminal courts acquit a parent we have reported for abuse or even murder; Nicky Underdown was cleared by the Court of Appeal of killing her 14 day old baby and at first she dared to be happy and triumphant when she was released from prison; We soon settled her hash !! We held a seperate hearing 3 months later in our secret famly court and naturally our family judge decided to completely disregard the Court of Appeal and forbid her from living with her surviving son until he is 18. We restricted contact to 4 hours per week under close supervision. That will teach her and any others like her how useless it is to defy us and go to those pathetic softies at the court of Appeal !!!

Judges will nearly always believe Social Services rather than the parents especially as we have a team of exceptionally well paid medical experts at our disposal to back us up, who are of course delighted to give the sort of evidence we require. In addition to this we collect and report to the court all sorts of malicious accusations that we claim to have been made by the children, the neighbours or anyone else we can dig up. Sexual abuse (very sucessfully used to snatch over a hundred children in Cleveland!!), physical abuse, and emotional abuse are favourites. We social workers, children's guardians and tame" experts "unite to spin these tales in court but there is no need for our other witnesses or the children themselves to come to court to be questioned. We avoid that at all costs, especially the children in case they reveal the truth. Rumour and gossip serve us very well as HEARSAY is our favourite form of evidence in our secret family courts. No press or public are allowed in court so we can have a regular field day and parents cannot complain to the press in case we get them cited for contempt. (Unlike Canada, Australia New Zealand, and Ireland where we social workers are left disgracefully unprotected by the absence of the very necessary secrecy that we enjoy here in the UK.) A solicitor called Sarah Harman dared to reveal some of our secrets to her sister Harriet (The Solicitor General), but we soon got her in very big trouble!!,6903,1657274,00.html

Article from The Sunday Times
4 December, 2005

Harman's sister attacks Hodge over child cases

Nobody is safe from us in the UK if they dare to break secrecy!! We on the other hand, ADVERTISE CHILDREN like pedigree dogs (often when they are subject only to interim care orders and well before the court has even met!) We put attractive adverts in adoption magazines such as Adoption UK (supplement children in waiting),social service websites , and others such as with ethnic origins(pedigree!), first names, large colour photographs and birth dates to help neighbours identify these horrible brats ; plus of course frequent financial rewards for anyone stupid enough to adopt the little wretches. We also cheerfully disregard the European Court of Human Rights whenever their wimpish judges condemn our baby snatching.They fined the UK a derisory sum for what they dared to call our"draconian" action in snatching a new born baby from a mother who had never harmed it but who had offended our US colleagues 5 years earlier. Her baby was by then well and truly adopted and quite safe from this annoying mother and her entourage. These European jokers have absolutely no real power to interfere in what we do !! We just laugh at this hopeless bunch of nerds !!
(see paras 133, 137, and138)


I am a social worker, I'm really very nice. I help you loving mothers, And give you good advice!  Your partner has departed Your income is too low. I'm really very sorry, All your kids will have to go ! Your partner is abusive? He beats you black and blue? We'll soon be there to help you, And take your children too ! You have a learning problem, You're really not too clever We'll get your kids adopted When can you see them?? NEVER!! Your son is hyperactive? You need a brief respite; We'll soon take ALL your children  Give up the hopeless fight! Your child was taken into care, So many years ago If now you have a baby That too will have to go! Foster parents love your kids To get some more they seek, For each one brings a tidy sum  £400 per week !! Children's homes are run by us , Where paedophiles abound Each time we cover up abuse "The gutter press" come round "They" said adoptions worked the best We soon proved that they would Fathers shout and mothers cry Their kids are gone for good! What happens in our special courts? Our experts they will say "You're a danger to your children, So we'll take them all away!" Your children may be healthy, Happy and well fed  But one day you might hurt them That's what our experts said The judges know that we are right, With us they will agree They dare not risk another course You have no chance you see ! Our special courts are secret, So don't you breathe a word Of what goes on inside those walls No matter how absurd ! We'll get your kids adopted, And don't you dare complain! Or you'll end up in prison  And I won't say that again! We have adoption targets, They must be met you see, Failure means a reprimand, So spare a thought for me !!! IAN JOSEPHS (a very social worker!)

Regulations: Child Snatching - Children - Babies - Mothers - Witch-Doctors - Fathers - Family Courts - Power

8. POWER; We social workers have more power than Gordon Brown and Tony Blair put together. Anyone who dares to publicly criticise in detail what we do in secret ends up in prison for contempt of court and quite right too!!We now invite you new recruits to the Social Services to enjoy the POWER you have as you see the fear and despair in the eyes of women when you take away their new-born babies. What you are doing is perfectly legal, and you are entitled to enjoy the power as a perk of your job. The more you make parents suffer, the better you will feel, The wonderful thing is that all your actions are legal , justified and above all great fun!. We know that babies and children of all ages are better off under the care of the State than they are with the sort of parents WE target who are quite obviously a stupid, uneducated, drunken, drugged up irresponsible lot, who never deserved to have children in the first place., 6903, 1391537, 00.html

Top of page - British Social Worker Rules and Regulations: Child Snatching - Children - Babies - Mothers - Witch-Doctors - Fathers - Family Courts - Power

By now I am sure you get the general idea so WELCOME to the UK Social Services!! For more useful information contact

Please look at the serious reforms I suggest. But not before you have read the next paragraph and reviewed these surprising links !!!

P.S. We British Social Workers had wonderful reviews in The Sunday Times, The Sun, The Telegraph , The Observer, a report from the Royal Society of Arts listing our outstanding achievements in 12 different areas of the UK, and of course the BBC News.

Please click on the links in red to enjoy the praise heaped on British social workers by these prestigious newspapers and organisations.

The blue links are sites with a similar theme to ourselves. The green link will connect you to a press photograph of our "SOCIAL WORKER OF THE YEAR" proudly receiving her award!!


Website managers and webmasters with similar sites are encouraged to add these links to their sites as respected newspaper articles give extra credence to the points they wish to make., 6903, 1130638, 00.html

Forced Adoption - More Useful Links
British Social Worker - Rules and Regulations
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