October 21, 2009.

A relatively peaceful day in our household. Usual topics of discussion, CAS, finances, etc. The only problem was that I was unaware of the extent of the toll that CAS and their demands had placed on my partner.

Now, we can't blame CAS entirely for the outcome of this day but without a doubt it was the final straw for my partner. Without getting into details he was facing bankruptcy from his previous relationship. A proud man who worked his entire life for whomever was involved in his life, the last 14 months being myself and my daughter. He was less than prepared to let us down. His intent was good but his method was not.

Repeated threats and accusations from CAS that OUR daughter would not be returned to me unless he was removed from the picture opened the door for that final straw. Granted, she was my daughter from a previous marriage but, he had committed himself in heart and spirit.

After a series unfounded accusations and blame he was forced to cede to their demands and faced with the reality of losing the last remaining things that were dear to him, myself and my daughter. Surely, and I know how he loved me, he would not stand to see my daughter and myself separated. We could hardly afford an second residence, travel and the fear and stress of trying to live our life in secrecy, lying to everyone. For Christ's sake, we are 39 and 48 respectively, not high school. He attempted to take his life in front of me.

The knife went from the counter to his throat in a flash, the wound stretched from ear to ear, 1 1/2 inches deep. 911 was called and by the grace of god he was transported and tended to. Blood everywhere, he damn near died in my arms. No vitals when he left in the ambulance. .100 stitches and or staples later, CAS had achieved their goal. We would never be together again. I was traumatized and received no support from any of the accusatory agencies. At RISK??? what do you think... CAS said lots and did nothing. They were satisfied enough that he was gone, not about what happened to him, me or what my daughter thought.

Four months later, I have my daughter back on paper. It will not occur till the school year ends because, unlike CAS, I am not prepared to uproot her and add that kind of turmoil to her life. Strangely, CAS never admitted any wrong doing, they conveniently moved for termination. No finding of guilt but more important, no finding of wrong doing on the part of CAS after 9 months of unsubstantiated accusations, an uprooted child and very nearly killing one of the strongest men I have ever met.

My boyfriend, whose last words to me were "Here's a way you can get you daughter back" has fortunately recovered physically from his wounds but I fear it will be years before either of us recover emotionally from the terror and torture CAS was arbitrarily able to instill in our lives.

Sarah Laurin
Founder and Director Of Failsafe
With permission of Thomas Jakobsen, CAS survivor.

Source: Failsafe Lanark