Tired of your husband and want to kick him out of the house?
Sick of having to do housework?
Tired of taking care of those pesky kids?
Would you like to relax all day and still have the bills paid?

HI y'all girls. I'm Porkyanne, the operator of the fine women's shelter in your community and I just got another one of them government grants! If you can answer yes to any of the questions above then you should consider moving into my new local women's shelter I'm setting up in a community near you. Thanks to all the wonderful hard working taxpayers here are just some of the benefits you will enjoy:

Free housing
Free food
Free medical attention
Free transportation
Free babysitting
Truckloads of free stuff
Free legal services
Free Ritalin for the kids
Free affidavits and motions

Who needs one of them pesky husbands when you can just come on down to Porkyanne's women's place. We have trained lesbian staff on duty 24 hours a day to make your visit a most memorial and enjoyable one. So give us a call and leave that pesky man behind! Even the call is free!

Porkyanne's women's shelter