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No Kids at Wedding

June 17, 2014 permalink

When Jennifer and Joh met they each had children of their own. Their relationship produced one more child, now three years old. On June 21 the couple will be cementing their family by getting married. Guess who will not be coming to the wedding? London-Middlesex CAS has control of the children and is determined not to allow them to attend. The story of the ordeal in Jennifer's words is enclosed. In three emails to CAS and three replies CAS refused to acknowledge the issue. While Jennifer asked about getting her children to the wedding, social worker Steve Didham answered about a planned parenting capacity assessment.



Jen Mcmurray

My son's father and I are getting married on June 21st and I have just about had enough with London & Middlesex Children's Aid Society. Specifically Steve Didham and Kevin Graham. Ignoring myself and my son's father's request to have our children participate in our wedding.

These two workers have known about our wedding since March 2014. I have emails dating back to that time. I have requests to have my three children in care all ages 3 years, 5 years and 14 years attend and participate in our wedding because in the eyes of our religion we are not married without the children participating and attending as we are a family first and foremost as well. Sections 65, 103 and 85 of the CFSA give my family the right to not only religious freedoms and choices but the abilities for my children to attend scheduled important family events such as weddings funerals births naming ceremonies any such ceremony that is deemed a religious ceremony that the children share with their parents. The Society must accommodate the family and provide the children to the parents for such an event. It's the childrens' right and they know this!!

CAS knows my wedding is centered around my children and they waited until the very last minute and began refusing to allow my children to attend and participate in my wedding even after being told daily that my wedding is NOT LEGAL in the eyes of my religion without all the children there, even though daily they have been emailed and told who will be attending the wedding, even though they have been told that in our religion the wedding is centered around the children and that they all have roles and it's too late to change anything now and we can't even if we wanted to because again our marriage would not be legal religiously and that's important. I can attach copies of those emails proving this as well.......

Steve Didham the CAS worker involved told me on April 29th 2014, and you will see this in the collection of six emails I attach to this post where I emailed asking about my wedding, and he responded only wanting to discuss a PCA and nothing more. However finally answered me and said the following: "I am confidant we can work something out". I was to give him one week to do that. However June 2nd 2014 to April 29th 2014 thats a lot longer then a week isn't it everyone!!!!! Cause finally only June 2nd my lawyer receives a letter and this is of course after he spends weeks bugging them about my wedding too and in their letter CAS refuses to allow my two youngest children the right to attend my wedding, my 14 year old the right to attend the religious aspect of our wedding ceremony nor any of the children the abilities to prepare for this wedding as requested.

We have presented a very reasonable plan offering that the foster parents and even on call CAS workers can attend everywhere we are with the children and no one leaves their sight with the children. I was very descriptive about where when and how for every part of that day and as soon as everything was done then they can leave with the children but they are still refusing being very vengeful and vindictive so I will NOT BE IGNORED!! CAS WILL NOT RUIN MY WEDDING!! ONE WAY OR ANOTHER ALL MY CHILDREN WILL BE THERE. SO HERE IS THE FIRST SET OF SIX EMAILS BETWEEN ME AND THE CAS WORKER STEVE DIDHAM AND DURING THIS ENTIRE PROCESS HIS SUPERVISOR HAS REFUSED TO GET BACK TO ME!!

Yes I'll also be filing court papers and complaints with the college and the CFSRB and you know the funny thing I have sent a bunch of emails in the last week telling them "hey wouldn't it be better if my time was spent cooperating with you instead of fighting with you? But I guess it seems that they just want a fight.......... THATS NOT MY FAULT NOW IS IT!!


1: Sent: Tue, Apr 29, 2014 8:11:57 PM

Hi Jennifer:

Dr. Milton Blake is now ready to resume the parental capacity assessment and needs to meet with you. He needs to meet with you over the course of 2 full days, starting at 9AM, at the London CAS office. The dates he has available are May 9, 12, 14 and 16 โ€“ May 12 and 14 are the best dates for him. Please confirm which days work for you of the dates I have provided so he can have his meetings with you. Again, they will start at 9AM and be for the entire day for each of the 2 days you will be meeting with him.

Please let me know at your earliest convenience. Thank you,


2: Sent: Tue, Apr 29, 2014 4:27 PM


As for your appointments I'll run this by my lawyer first because I'm not comfortable sitting at the CAS office for two full days alone like this especially with out support who says it specifically has to happen at the CAS office anyway what about a neutral location.

3: Sent: Tue, Apr 29, 2014 8:30:33 PM

I will reply to your earlier email when I have time to respond appropriately. The PCA is urgent Jen so yes, consult with your lawyer and let me know.


4: Sent: Tuesday, April 29, 2014 4:44 PM

Well Steve seeing my children & planning my wedding & tying up these legal things with Joh that we really should have done a few years ago is just as important. Phoenix deserves to have his mom & dad married, Leaylani deserved to grow up knowing that the step father that's help raise her isn't going anywhere and Donovan deserves to continue to grow up knowing that his best friend and step dad won't bail out on him either & btw I guess Joh needs to be part of that PCA too!! He will be my husband after all he has been involved with the kids he is Phoenix's father he named Phoenix not me!! So this other stuff is just as important. I have a reasonable plan for my children to attend our wedding. Feel free to contact Kathy Roberts to confirm the details that I've given you. It's an important family event the children are expected to be part of it & Kathy needs them one Saturday in May to take them shopping for wedding clothing this is a fair & reasonable plan!!

5: Sent: Tue, Apr 29, 2014 9:10:58 PM

I promise to get back to you about this Jen, and I am confident we can work something out. I will need some time before I can respond with what we feel is an appropriate plan โ€“ please give me a week for your request to be worked out. I am also working on getting your access resumed too โ€“ which is not easy since you know that your refusal to comply with access meant you were removed from the program. I am working very hard to try and get access for you resumed as early as next week - - I will confirm what access will be as soon as I know that plan as well.

Thank you for your patience on these matters; I look forward to hearing back from you about dates to meet with Dr. Blake once you have reviewed the request with your lawyer.


6: Sent:Tue Apr 29 17:27:08 2014

For the record I did not refuse to see my children it was the society that has not set up proper access for me to see my children again the option for access. I am offering is that Kathy Roberts supervises me with my children or you can put a worker in my home to supervise me with my children. After two years it's time to move this forward as well. Joh has the right to be involved. I suggest you get used to this idea quickly and work with us. We're willing to work with you. I'll give you the week but again I want to be clear Joh and I are very serious about doing this together.

Another wonderful example of CAS dodging their responsibilities to families!! This really has to stop & I refuse to let them get away with it not this time!!!

Source: Facebook, Canada Court Watch